Halloween is this Saturday, and The City of Elmhurst has issued the following guidelines for trick-or-treating during the COVID-19 pandemic:
- GREEN and RED signs were mailed earlier this month for residents to place in their windows or visible areas for trick-or-treaters to identify whether or not they are participating. GREEN = “Yes. The last time I checked this is America and it is my God-given right to hand out candy on Halloween”. RED = “No. I am a communist and I hate children. Please do not ring my doorbell for candy.”
- Residents interested in participating are asked to place the GREEN “Trick-or-Treaters are Welcome” signs in their window, turn on their outdoor lights, and disable land mines, bamboo whips, and other home security measures. Residents who are not interested in participating are asked to display the RED “No Trick-or-Treaters, please” sign in their window and hide out in their basement or maid’s quarters all night like the cowards that they are.
- For the safety of all participants, refrain from giving candy to children who are not wearing a mask unless you a have a long-standing riff with one of their parents and you feel that turning their kid away will push things over the edge.
- Individuals are asked to wear masks and gloves when passing out candy and encouraged to take breath mints frequently to hide the smell of alcohol from their breath.
- Unless you have built a “candy chute” to send treats via a tube or a similar apparatus, consider wrapping candy, gold coins, or whatever else you’re giving away in plastic bags and setting them on a table in your driveway.
- Place a tie-dyed colored pumpkin in front of your home if “adult treats” are also being offered, and clearly label the THC levels of edibles.
Trick-or-treating hours on Saturday are from 3:30-7:30 p.m.
Editor’s Note: The original story was deleted because the City of Elmhurst didn’t want me using their logo. This is the same content published 10/29.
The Elmhurst Funion 